"Salvation"trigger warning: graphic description of suicide
On September 24th 2014, my best friend contacted me, desperately seeking reasons to stay alive. I asked him if he could hang on until the next time I saw him, and he told me, “I don’t think I can even hang on until midnight.” The next day, I got the news.
Writing has always been my sanctuary, my escape. But after my best friend’s suicide, I could barely make pen touch paper. I feared that writing a poem about him would be too final, and I wasn’t ready for closure yet. But somehow, I eventually allowed myself to turn my best friend’s legacy into this poem.
I chose not to give this poem a happy ending, because the reality of suicide is that there is no happy ending. Not for the person who takes their own life, nor for the people they leave behind to pick up the fragments. Suicide devastates everyone involved. But this is precisely why we need to talk about it. I want everyone who watches this video to understand the horrific pain of grieving a loved one; I want everyone to know that there are thousands of people who carry this same pain everyday; and I want that to inspire us all to come together and create a world where fewer and fewer people have to feel this way. We need to live such that everyone who meets us walks away feeling uplifted.
If you need it, here’s a list of international suicide hotlines. If you don’t need it, pass it around anyway. And remember: my heart is with you, always.